April 2012
46 posts
Early Rocket Ships
fakescience:
Movie-A-Minute: The Odyssey (via rinkworks.com)
Odysseus: I rule.
Poseidon: For your sin of pride, I curse you for all eternity.
Direction: (Unfazed, Odysseus boards his ship and sets SAIL for Greece, where his family is awaiting his RETURN from Troy. A STORM happens, and it drives them off course into the MEDITERRANEAN, where they come upon a strange LAND owned by the giant Cyclops POLYPHEMUS who eats some of the men ALL UP, but then they ESCAPE. Still lost, they run into the island of the sorceress CIRCE who turns some of Odysseus' men into ANIMALS, and it takes YEARS before they escape, and then they sail by some singing SIRENS, but they can't hear because they have STUFF in their ears. Then they come upon an island where there is a field of HERBS, and they all get HIGH, until Odysseus says it's time to GO. Then Odysseus' men let a WIND out of a BAG, and some more men DIE. And they sail on to HADES to talk to some DEAD people, and some more men DIE. And they steer the ship between the six headed monster SCYLLA and the torrential whirlpool CHARYBDIS, and Scylla makes some more men DIE, and Charybdis makes the rest of them DIE. Then the ship busts up into a JILLION pieces, but Odysseus is SAVED by the nymph Calypso who confines him to her ISLAND because she thinks he's HOT, and she wants his BODY. Then years later she lets him GO, but Poseidon is determined to terrorize him FURTHER. And then SUDDENLY Odysseus has an IDEA.)
Odysseus: Poseidon, I am sorry.
Poseidon: Ok, you can go home now.
6h057:
howsyrface:
Why is it that when you see a dude wearing like a Green Lantern or Batman logo t-shirt you just think “Fanboy” whereas when you see a dude wearing a Superman t-shirt you automatically think “That guy thinks he’s Superman”?
Or when you see a guy in a metal shirt and think “I bet he hates Killswitch”
“Just watch less TV, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell people how to live their...”
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This is a great interview and a huge departure from the usual emo sensitivity of Thought Catalog. Hopefully they’ll put out more pieces like this (and pay people for doing them!) because this was well...
